Use RETURNING/OUTPUT clause for UPDATE/DELETE

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Closes #27547

[JesperTreetop]

For what it's worth; this seems to break entity-driven updates to virtual tables in SQLite, like how FTS can be implemented in a popular post by @bricelam. SQLite gives the error (0x80004005): SQLite Error 1: 'UPDATE RETURNING is not available on virtual tables'. I had to replace them with a manually constructed query, run with context.Database.ExecuteSql(); that also requires some coordination with the surrounding data to make sure it's not itself pending a context save, and so on.

This problem is apt to happen for other things that rely on SQLite extensions, of which there are a few, so having a flag to opt out of this behavior would be welcome. "Another roundtrip to the database" is a lesser concern on SQLite than on other databases anyway.

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@JesperTreetop thanks for raising this, I've opened #29512 to track separately.