[1.x] fix(tags): load correct user tag state and prevent N+1 queries in stateFor

[rafaucau]

Fixes #4007

Changes proposed in this pull request:

As described in the title. For more details, please refer to issue #4007.

QA

Necessity

• Has the problem that is being solved here been clearly explained?
• If applicable, have various options for solving this problem been considered?
• For core PRs, does this need to be in core, or could it be in an extension?
• Are we willing to maintain this for years / potentially forever?

Confirmed

• Backend changes.
• Core developer confirmed locally this works as intended.
• Tests have been added, or are not appropriate here.

Thanks to @SychO9 for assistance on Discord!